Vendors of “haunted” objects have apparently diversified from merely selling spooky dolls. Now there are about a billion other “haunted” things for sale on eBay.
(Actually, as I write this, there are only about ten thousand hits for non-Halloween “haunted” things in ebay.com’s ever-entertaining “Everything Else” category. There’s similar nonsense scattered around various other categories, but Everything Else, especially the wall-to-wall-BS “Metaphysical” subcategory, is where the real winners are to be found.)
You name it, someone’s selling it. Ordinary glass marbles that’ve allegedly “captured the energy at the moment of all sunspot explosions that have ever happened on the surface of the sun”. Dime-store rings that allegedly come with an “astral plane incubus”, guaranteed to “bring you pleasure during dreams”. A “Powerful Amulet” enchanted by a “psychic witch” to bring in “MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF MONEY & CASH FAST”.
Some of this stuff costs less than ten dollars all told - the money-amulet is fifteen bucks delivered, but just think how fast you’ll make it back. And the “HAUNTED MOST POWERFUL ASTRAL TRAVEL ORB IN THE WORLD!” costs thirty bucks delivered. But c’mon, it’s “SUPERCHARGED WITH ASTRAL TRAVEL ENERGY!”
It’s possible to spend a fair bit more, though.
“HAUNTED 7 DEVATA PENDANT MOST AMAZING ITEM ON EBAY”? Yours for $149.99.
“Haunted Demon Ring and much more! Money, Power, Love”? $160 delivered.
“HAUNTED WICCAN MARID GENIE DJINN MASSIVE BINDING RITUAL”? $369.99.
“DJINN SON OF OSIRIS HAUNTED RING MARID/EFRIT JINN GENIE”? Fifteen hundred bucks.
“Haunted Ghostly Hand Asylum Window Black & White Photo” or “HAUNTED- THE RING OF UMBRA - THE SEAL OF THE SUMMONER”? Each $2500.
(But the photo doesn’t apparently do anything, while the Ring of Umbra is just dripping with “ISHAB MalFatah & Muhamad-Dal-Jafi Magic”. This will apparently pretty much turn you into Mister Mxyzptlk.)
“FORTUNATE MISS CLEMENTINE HAUNTED AND LUCKY JEWELRY”? Seventeen thousand dollars.
“AUSTRALIAN BLACK OPAL GEMSTONE 14K GOLD PENDANT HAUNTED”?
Twenty-seven thousand, nine hundred and ninety nine dollars. And thirty cents.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you:
The voting public.