Comments on: Two teachers and a porn clerk http://dansdata.blogsome.com/2007/10/30/two-teachers-and-a-porn-clerk/ the blog that is not dansdata.com Sun, 06 Dec 2009 21:30:59 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=1.5.1-alpha by: Geraint http://dansdata.blogsome.com/2007/10/30/two-teachers-and-a-porn-clerk/#comment-1498 Sat, 03 Nov 2007 01:28:24 +0000 http://dansdata.blogsome.com/2007/10/30/two-teachers-and-a-porn-clerk/#comment-1498 The one that really caught my attention was when the porn clerk said they all play death metal to scare the customers away at closing time. Is that really the best they can come up with? I think if I wanted to freak people out with music at an adult video store, I could come up with much more frightening choices. The most obvious thing would be cheerful upbeat conservative fundamentalist Christian music, preferably with pietistic themes (e.g., stuff like Glad's "Doer of Your Word") or, if you want to be completely brazen, music that directly promotes sexual abstinence (e.g., D.C. Talk's "I Don't Want It") or general purity (e.g., "Create in me a Clean Heart, O Lord"), but I think I can go that one better: children's Sunday School music. The thing that springs immediately to mind is "Oh, Be Careful Little Eyes What You See" (which I think is by the Gaithers), but really anything that immediately makes you think of six-year-olds sitting on little chairs learning about Jesus would do. "Jesus Loves the Little Children", "The B-I-B-L-E", anything like that. With the voices of young children on the recording. The last thing a porn shopper wants to think about, all else being equal, is preschool-aged children. (I suppose there would be an occasional exception, but even the other customers would think there was something wrong with them.) And the second-to-last thing they want to think about is church. Or maybe I have those backwards. Anyway, the combination is what really makes it. I suppose you could shuffle that stuff every-other-song with death metal, though. The contrast might actually bring it out and make it scarrier. The one that really caught my attention was when the porn clerk said they all play death metal to scare the customers away at closing time. Is that really the best they can come up with? I think if I wanted to freak people out with music at an adult video store, I could come up with much more frightening choices. The most obvious thing would be cheerful upbeat conservative fundamentalist Christian music, preferably with pietistic themes (e.g., stuff like Glad's "Doer of Your Word") or, if you want to be completely brazen, music that directly promotes sexual abstinence (e.g., D.C. Talk's "I Don't Want It") or general purity (e.g., "Create in me a Clean Heart, O Lord"), but I think I can go that one better: children's Sunday School music. The thing that springs immediately to mind is "Oh, Be Careful Little Eyes What You See" (which I think is by the Gaithers), but really anything that immediately makes you think of six-year-olds sitting on little chairs learning about Jesus would do. "Jesus Loves the Little Children", "The B-I-B-L-E", anything like that. With the voices of young children on the recording. The last thing a porn shopper wants to think about, all else being equal, is preschool-aged children. (I suppose there would be an occasional exception, but even the other customers would think there was something wrong with them.) And the second-to-last thing they want to think about is church. Or maybe I have those backwards. Anyway, the combination is what really makes it.

I suppose you could shuffle that stuff every-other-song with death metal, though. The contrast might actually bring it out and make it scarrier.

]]> by: Changes http://dansdata.blogsome.com/2007/10/30/two-teachers-and-a-porn-clerk/#comment-1485 Wed, 31 Oct 2007 11:45:40 +0000 http://dansdata.blogsome.com/2007/10/30/two-teachers-and-a-porn-clerk/#comment-1485 The japanese teacher blog got me laughing like an idiot. I started about two hours ago, and I have yet to stop. (I'm actually writing this inbetween brief moments of lucidity). That's the funniest blog I've read, and quite possibly the funniest thing I've read on the net ever :D And I'm not even at a third of it. I think I might die here tonight... Curse you Dan, you'll have me on your conscience! ;) The japanese teacher blog got me laughing like an idiot. I started about two hours ago, and I have yet to stop. (I'm actually writing this inbetween brief moments of lucidity).
That's the funniest blog I've read, and quite possibly the funniest thing I've read on the net ever :D
And I'm not even at a third of it.
I think I might die here tonight... Curse you Dan, you'll have me on your conscience! ;)

]]> by: magetoo http://dansdata.blogsome.com/2007/10/30/two-teachers-and-a-porn-clerk/#comment-1484 Wed, 31 Oct 2007 05:16:09 +0000 http://dansdata.blogsome.com/2007/10/30/two-teachers-and-a-porn-clerk/#comment-1484 Ah, I remember reading through all of the "I am a Japanese School Teacher" archive a while back. During the move to a new site, without having the benefit of an archive index. (ISTR Google and "view source" was the key to success there.) Was great then, and I'm getting the urge to reread it all again now. And then also <a href="http://savagepencil.typepad.com/confessions/" rel="nofollow">Confessions of a Grade School Role Model</a> (<a href="http://savagepencil.typepad.com/confessions/archives.html" rel="nofollow">archive</a>), another "foreign English teacher in Japan" blog. Maybe not as funny as your first example, but I still think it's interesting for some reason. And did you notice that most people blogging from another country stop as soon as they get back? Interesting, but sad somehow. Or alternatively, they can stay, settle in, and slow down; like with <a>Living in Japan</a>. I'll shut up about Japan now. Sorry to have taken up your time, everyone. Or "minna san", as it would be in Japanese, literally something like "everyone, Sir". It's amazing how "san" can be suffixed to almost anything to make it more of a polite... wait, I said I should stop, didn't I? Sorry again. Ah, I remember reading through all of the "I am a Japanese School Teacher" archive a while back. During the move to a new site, without having the benefit of an archive index. (ISTR Google and "view source" was the key to success there.) Was great then, and I'm getting the urge to reread it all again now.

And then also Confessions of a Grade School Role Model (archive), another "foreign English teacher in Japan" blog. Maybe not as funny as your first example, but I still think it's interesting for some reason.

And did you notice that most people blogging from another country stop as soon as they get back? Interesting, but sad somehow. Or alternatively, they can stay, settle in, and slow down; like with Living in Japan.

I'll shut up about Japan now. Sorry to have taken up your time, everyone. Or "minna san", as it would be in Japanese, literally something like "everyone, Sir". It's amazing how "san" can be suffixed to almost anything to make it more of a polite... wait, I said I should stop, didn't I? Sorry again.

]]> by: Daniel Rutter http://dansdata.blogsome.com/2007/10/30/two-teachers-and-a-porn-clerk/#comment-1483 Tue, 30 Oct 2007 19:09:59 +0000 http://dansdata.blogsome.com/2007/10/30/two-teachers-and-a-porn-clerk/#comment-1483 Dear God. I thought about mentioning kancho, since it plays so very, <b>very</b> large a part in the Japanese teacher's life... but I just couldn't think of any way to soften the blow, as it were. I still can't. (It does, at least, explain that <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boong-Ga_Boong-Ga">Boong-Ga Boong-Ga</a> game everyone was linking to a couple of years ago.) Dear God.

I thought about mentioning kancho, since it plays so very, very large a part in the Japanese teacher's life... but I just couldn't think of any way to soften the blow, as it were.

I still can't.

(It does, at least, explain that Boong-Ga Boong-Ga game everyone was linking to a couple of years ago.)

]]> by: morrieD http://dansdata.blogsome.com/2007/10/30/two-teachers-and-a-porn-clerk/#comment-1482 Tue, 30 Oct 2007 18:09:29 +0000 http://dansdata.blogsome.com/2007/10/30/two-teachers-and-a-porn-clerk/#comment-1482 Thank you no much Mr Rutter. You have doomed my day to telling everyone I know about <a href="http://www.kancho.org/videos.html" rel="nofollow">"Kancho" videos</a> Thank you no much Mr Rutter. You have doomed my day to telling everyone I know about "Kancho" videos

]]> by: Stark http://dansdata.blogsome.com/2007/10/30/two-teachers-and-a-porn-clerk/#comment-1481 Tue, 30 Oct 2007 08:16:50 +0000 http://dansdata.blogsome.com/2007/10/30/two-teachers-and-a-porn-clerk/#comment-1481 Dan, If I get fired for not doing any work today I'm coming to live in your living room. Please have the couch made up just in case. Dan, If I get fired for not doing any work today I'm coming to live in your living room. Please have the couch made up just in case.

]]> by: wehrlebyrd http://dansdata.blogsome.com/2007/10/30/two-teachers-and-a-porn-clerk/#comment-1480 Tue, 30 Oct 2007 05:12:25 +0000 http://dansdata.blogsome.com/2007/10/30/two-teachers-and-a-porn-clerk/#comment-1480 Dan, Curse you! NOW how am I supposed to work? Dan,

Curse you! NOW how am I supposed to work?

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